It’s time for some graphic and real updates from your hostess. The kind that make sweat and blood ooze from your pores, your stomach churn, furrow your brow, and cause you to shake your head in amazement and thank your lucky stars that you don’t have experiences of shame and suffering equal to my many blunders.
So, my new life is upon me indeed! One morning I am sitting around twiddling my thumbs trying to kill the ample hours I have before I go to work selling Organic Mattresses and pillows full of wooly bolas that EWE would probably really like….and when I open my eyes from that peaceful slumber, I am waking up at 5:00am, going to the gym, and rushing here there and everywhere all day long. Rather than selling health and wellness, and a good night’s slumber, I’m sitting behind a company that sells people beer, cigarettes, phenylalanine, and partially-hydrogenated EVERYTHING oil fructose corn Monsanto syrup. Ah yes, and energy drinks. With my new job, my world is completely flipped! Even down to the fact that I most definitely am NOT ALLOWED to wear flip-flops to work anymore. What’s a girl to do? This is what I’ve been wanting! What I’ve been NEEDING! I do what I have to, I go for, headfirst, plunging in face remarkably leading the way, and hitting the water long before the feet.
Talk about head over heels. I LOVE my new job! I love staying busy and the work I get to do is a perfect combination of everything I’ve ever done up until this point. I love my boss, I love my co-workers! I even love my desk! It’s like the culminating of magic, mixed with Honey Nut Cheerios, and well, other such things that probably would make my stomach hurt to eat. But they’re yummy.
Speaking of yummy, so is coffee. I’m back on that juice. You know, coffee has this way of making things, er, regular, predictable. So, I sort of fell back into it’s lap like an old, apologetic lover swearing never to leave it again. Though, secretly, I’m hoping to kick my habit to the curb again.
I exercise less, have at least one piece of chocolate a week, sit more, and have only one night a week to myself in which I spend doing things like, blogging, and catching up on bills, and emails, crossword puzzles, scrabble, and other such things which I have written rigidly into my day timer. Ie. more sitting.
I gotta tell you, I am starting to unravel. But in a way, the unravelling is the Easy Pass to the path that which will ultimately build me up and make me stronger. I’m pretty sure I’m going to feel like my true self soon! I think.
In order to be this super-charged, energetic, put-together, organized executive assisting guru which is characteristic of my identity, I have to really commit myself to routines, and staying on top of things. Not to mention, my own personal things. Like making sure I go to the bathroom everyday, have time to shower, pick out clothes to wear, eat breakfast and get out the door in a peaceful manner so that I don’t pummel into the daily 6-7 car pile up on the highway. I also have to figure out ways to decompress myself and make sure my stress doesn’t keep me up all night. Spelt Flour is now on my list of “no’s” (I just found out it’s not gluten-free!) along with it, the disappearance of my favorite morning rituals, as are a few other things I’ve found I have to steer clear of while letting my abdominals experience anxiety, else I find myself doubled over in pain crouching beside a copier machine.
All this to say, what I do miss is my creativity, time to write, my three hour walks, the time I set aside for myself to just unfold and run with a random idea. Now, my head unfurls for hours before anything creative rolls out, and by the time it has, my fingers are too weary to jot down the dictations inside my brain. As they say….when one door closes, another door opens. I can truly see how everything requires SOME sort of sacrifice. No matter what you choose, you are giving something up. Let’s see where this ride takes us, shall we.
I don’t miss feeling a lackluster, uncertain, dull, energy and scraping by the skin of my teeth hoping that I can afford lettuce and a can of black beans and still have electricity to turn that into fat-free, black bean hummus for dinner.
The job description is essentially, “Taking Care of Business”: booking hotels, making travel arrangements, checking for grammar and spelling, giving trainings and presentations, I’m sure there will be some Amelia Bedelia moments to share with you. With respect to the utmost of privacy and confidentiality.
I’m also sure that you will get a big earful on the weekends. I simply wanted to explain my absence, apologize if anyone is mourning over my loss of words (don’t worry, I am too!) and say that “I’ll be back!” as the experiences transpire. Be ready.