What I Learned About Life by Drinking Coffee

While pouring over my crappy resume and trying to make myself look like an employable being, I’ve been downing coffee from the world’s most dark, intellectual coffee shop….Starbucks. Before you go bashing me for being a “chain” girl just realize that:

1. I don’t have internet at my apartment yet and
2. They offer a consistently GOOD cup of coffee (except those two times….)
3. I bring my own creamer made of organic, freshly milked almonds
4. There are no non-chain places here that open before 7 and don’t serve a cup of hot black water they have cleverly relabeled as “coffee”.
5. I need a bad habit so I have something to work on justifying.

Now that you see my rationale….allow me to share the lessons that have resulted from my sitting here sipping (gulping down) my grande mocha frappaccina latte machiatto.

1. I’ve given up the resolve to quit coffee anytime soon. 

First off, because I have to stay up until midnight most nights per week and I am not sure my feet could accomplish this without a cup of Joe. Secondly, I am not entirely positive it’s bad for you and I have many other vices I need to throw to the wind before I tackle this one.

2. Monthly internet is actually way less expensive than spending money on coffee everyday.

Noted. I need to figure out how on earth one goes about getting internet. Can you take it with you when you move? Are you stuck with a company for life? How do you even know who to become loyal to? Is it ridiculously expensive to start up? Who do you call? Ghostbusters?  I need internet. ASAP.

3. People are really rich and talk about it openly. 

The Real Housewives of Cary, NC are the ones I overhear gossiping about the Christmas presents they got from their husbands, the $900 DOOR PRIZE they won at charity events that they are going to use to buy an entire new Lululemon yoga wardrobe, and then then how they have yet to set up their new iPad. What the heck is an iPad anyway?

4. The people at Starbucks don’t care. No one cares. 

When you are separated from a support system, either by choice or by consequence…no one gives two flying rats or rat’s tails, or fox’s feet, or even pigeon talons about you. The people at Starbucks double greet you (I’ve been in the store sitting here hashing away on my computer, reading everyone’s Facebook statuses, trying to update myself in a half hour as to what my friends and family are all doing, I re-approached the counter to get some almonds, and they completely didn’t recognize me as the person who has been in their store for the past half hour). At work I get the same thing, I’ll be talking and realize no one is listening. Does anyone listen? Is anything worth even telling anyone? Maybe I’ll go talk the ear off of the person next to me on the treadmill at the gym. They’ll like that.

5. I think I just made myself want to quit coffee writing this blog. 

Withdrawal symptoms aside, I may have just developed a less “addictive” personality in reading and writing this. I have no time to be addicted to coffee or anything else for that matter. I am going to just quit everything I think. Now I just have to find a good place to steal wi-fi. Who is that? Oh, it’s just the local girl who sits in her car with it running and steals our internet for an hour. Suddenly my gas tank is on empty an awful lot and my contribution to global warming increased by 18%.

6. I am ready to get out there, get going, and make something of myself. 

Coffee shops glue me to my seat. I could literally sit here for hours, I am researching, searching, investigating, thinking, writing stuff in my notebook that I want to research, search, investigate, reply to, think about, later. I wish I were in school, I need a new skill, there is so much to do and so little time. Why is so much of life spent doing things that are not exactly fun and pleasurable? Why are we here? Why did I have that strange dream last night? Where is everyone? I need to talk to someone!!!!