Christmas Has Made Me an Insomniac

Santa, can you hear me? I’ve been really good this year.

That’s why I expect a whole buncha junk under my Christmas tree, at the end of my bed in a stocking, and in my driveway with a giant, oversized bow adorning it. I’m about to do a 180 degree turn from nice, friendly, super ultra apple crisp sweet, Emily, to a disciple of Scrooge.

When I was a child, I would go to bed on Christmas Eve, probably chubbier than a chubby stuffed bunny, my pancakey dough thighs slopping together, all content and gluttonous on Christmas Eve sugared treats. I would rest my head upon the pillow….only to JOLT into a high powered awakened Energizer bunny state at 2am. Why? Because this was around the time my parents would drop off a jam-packed STOCKING at the end up of my bed. Because of my sonic hearing, their creeping was no match for my light sleeping, and I was UP as soon as they were OUT. I rummaged my stockings, I stirred my brothers and had them open theirs and we reveled in our new toothbrushes, chocolate candies, clementines, and chap sticks that were overflowing from the knitted masterpieces. And that was it, from 2am onwards, I was asleep, raging through the halls of the house, doing cartwheels, ballet moves, headstands, and practicing my toe-pajama Micheal Jackson moonwalking. I guess the inner excitement and angst of Christmas, and all the greediness I experienced in desiring to have MORE GIFTS, more SHOES, more SOCKS, more COVERALLS! It was too much to bear! It left me sleepless in Jaffrey and high on life. Luckily, I had a band of three brothers to join me in the insomniac parade.

To this day, I have troubles with sleeping and I’m started to think it began with those Christmases, awakening me to the fact that I was about to get MORE PRESENTS and my selfish, little, self-centered child world could be ROCKED. I hear a jingle and I am brought out of a dreamlike state in an instant. I think of all the things I am lacking in my life and I lose at least two, if not three nights sleep. Santa had BEST be stopping by! A big event is upcoming involving trees and shiny boxes and I may as well commit myself to an insomnia research project …I’m done for.

I’m glad to have found Valerian root, so my insomnia issue is solved 75% of the time, 345 days of the year. However, there may be something wrong with the way I go about delving into holidays. Isn’t it a time to be with people you love? To clash wine glasses together followed by a kiss? To build and grow, reflect and dream? To throw a huge party and invite your friends and share with them all the great things that make them human beings? The time to watch two of your friends meet, talk and then before your eyes, get together, the most unsuspecting beginning to the perfect couple?

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Or maybe it’s about thinking about the list of things you need to furnish your newly renovated kitchen? To make sure everyone knows your major must-haves, and got-to-have-its? To send off those little cards with your faces all aglow and let people know how perfect your year has been?

What would it be like if we treated people as though life was a holiday EVERY DAY!? I am hoping this wouldn’t translate into me losing more sleep. But seriously, what if we looked forward to EVERY day as much as kids look forward to tearing every fragment of wrapping paper off their gifts?

I don’t love Christmas, at the moment, because it feels like a bit of an obligation, a second rent payment, a panic…. but I think this year it’s going to be better than most, and I think it’s because I feel overall more CHRISTMASish every day. Yes, I definitely have that feeling. Ok, now I am so excited I can’t sleep!!!!

LunasCrewnas

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