Going All Out

Yesterday, I ate a breakfast of debaucherous content. French toast with Mascarpone cheese and blueberries. I feel like more words in that sentence should have been capitalized as that was the title of the menu item, but I am feeling way too sluggish after eating that to go back and fix them. After indulging in such an unhealthy breakfast, and satisfying both my sweet and my fat tooth, one would think my resolve would be much better throughout the rest of the day and I would spend the afternoon juicing carrots, lettuce, and chomping on kohlrabi greens, but NO….I decided to fully embrace a day full of unhealthiness. For me that consists of a bit of chocolate and some raisins after dinner, a glass of champagne, and a light infliction of sunburn on my face, arms and legs, before said dinner.

I used to be pristine with my dietary habits, my exercise schedule, my use of commas and semi colons, and my sock drawer. But somewhere along the lines,  I have tried to embrace the fact that one must just try to live life, and acknowledge that try-as-I-may, there will not always be an organic kale juice in my hand and a ten pound weight in my other.

After attempting every technique under the sun, The-Actively-Pursuing-Perfection technique, the I-Quit-Trying-And-You-Should-Too Method, and the Once-Weekly-Sinning Theory (this one was only after the Once-Daily-Sinning Regime got out of hand), I’ve noticed that this is also how human beings tend to be in many other areas of their life as well. There are often these patterns we can observe as people go about their careers, strive for tidiness in their homes, keep their cars repaired, and try to keep their beer bellies at bay.

The Actively Pursuing Perfection Technique

This is not for the weak at heart, these people continuously strive to keep things clean, green, and going at a constantly perfect rate. I see them wandering about in their perfectly ironed shirts, their smooth skin glistening, and their ever-radiant smiles shining through with each and every social interaction. Don’t these people ever break for a sip of water? Or for that matter, a coffee? I believe living this way comes with the active philosophy that you must never give up, and understanding that life is always going to be hard work in order to achieve. 95% of the time just doesn’t cut it and would thereby completely blow this entire method to bits and pieces. I justify my own personal failures by saying this is the old way and it’s better to win some / lose some. But in reality, I look to these people (like my Dad and other “O” blood types) and drool at their perfection and ability to maintain it for the long haul.

I Quit Trying

These people not only have let themselves go, they also want you to join them so they can feel better about their messy home, their ever-expanding waistlines, and their six missing teeth. Ok, so I am being a bit harsh –I can definitely understand where they are coming from, one can only work so hard in life before it just gets way too annoying and easier to give up altogether. I am not quite sure what lies behind the life philosophy associated with this style of action. What do these people find to be life’s ultimate purpose? Our reason for being?  And why so resistant to just a little bit of a good thing? Will they eventually awaken?! Perhaps they have it right and it’s everyone else that has it wrong….maybe they know the truth that we will all just turn back into aliens anyway, Burt’s Bees lotion and non-toxic laundry soap or not, but until this is proven, I’m avoiding competing with their intake level of French Fries and Yellow #5.

Every Now and Then, and Never Too Much

Variety is the spice of life, right? Why maintain perfection when you could be inserting small bits of criminal activity and other forms of self-punishment to your daily or weekly regime? This tactic is all about keeping up appearances for a certain percentage of time and then allowing yourself a (set) time to “play” or to break your own rules. A subtle and light binging and purging. Does this account for the softness of the jaw line, the emptiness of the wallet, and the excess of recyclables going into the garbage cans across America? Perhaps today you don’t fix the tractor because you’re best friend just flew in from Timbuctoo to visit, or you set aside your strict diet and indulge in some pancakes that Nana just made you with love and fried in duck fat. Is this really sinning or is it striking a healthy balance? Even if you do feel like crap for a day after you spend the entire day lounging on your back porch or watching television in your pajamas, think of how good you also feel when you spend a day with your hands in the soil planting your organic vegetable garden, running a half marathon, laughing with your mother as you catch up over the telephone, making your bed with the utmost care, and doing all your laundry and folding it too. Even though secretly, I am dying to be perfect and live with neatly trimmed fingernails and iron straight hair every day all day, I know that I will never be able to get dirty and lie in a puddle of mud if I adhere to such a strict approach. So….in the name of balance, health, and less wrinkles….

Time for a 20 mile jog to work off yesterday’s mishaps….

~ Emily ~



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